Hello Blahahahblog! Guess who got into the moonshine again? And then guess who came up with another stupid game after several shots of dat good ole moonshine? ME!
Q – What happens when you take a sex quiz out of cosmo magazine and replace all the sex words with theatre related words?
A – You get a new quiz called HOW GOOD ARE YOU IN THE AUDIENCE?
1. How often are you game to try different theatrical events?
a) Nightly! You love artistically switching it up
b) Rarely you prefer the tried and true (i.e Our Town and whatever Norm Foster has farted out)
c) Sometimes but you’d love to do more (i.e went to one SummerWorks show…there was nudity?!)
2. The biggest thing you focus on while been in the audience of a new show is:
a) Getting and giving pleasurable attention
b) Making sure you’re pleasing the actors
c) Hoping you don’t look flabby…in the dark (Actors are hot when they are emoting)
3. On a scale of 1-10, how sexy do you feel about yourself when you’re watching a show?
a) 4 at best, thank god for dark theatres
b) 6 on a so-so night 8 on a hot one
c) 10 always…can’t wait for post-show drinking!
4. The show isn’t quite hittin’ your hot buttons right. You:
a) Edge your body a little to the left or right, hoping that your new position will change your perspective and perhaps you will see something more interesting at that angle.
b) Gently guide the actors with your reactions to exactly where you want them to go (obviously you can’t quite change the script)
c) Stay still and pretend you’re enjoying yourself so they doesn’t get offended then sneak out, hoping that no one saw you there.
5. Does your mind ever wander to mundane things during a show?
a) Nope, you’re always immersed in the mind-melding moments (if there is one)
b) Occasionally “I’m hungry” or “yoga lesson tonight” flashes through your brain.
c) Actually when the lights go down, that’s when you do some of your best thinking.
6. Do you ever spend solo time pleasuring yourself (i.e soliloquies in the bathroom mirror)?
a) Sometimes your digits will wander through your complete works of Shakespeare….when you’re feeling sorry for yourself because for the 15 year in a row, Stratford has not granted you an audition.
b) Never – that’s the playwrights’ job
c) Damn straight! You’ll also get “hands on” right at the theatre, whispering the dialogue under your breathe and emoting in mime.
7. Mid viewing session at a new show, you get the sense that the actors are not into it. What do you do?
a) Flip out – you paid good money to see this show
b) Wonder if you did anything wrong and hope they’ll snap out of it soon.
c) Initiate more boisterous audience reaction, if it doesn’t fly, it doesn’t mean you’re a bad audience member
8. What kind of sounds do you typically make at the theatre?
a) You stay quiet, save the occasional sigh just to let them know you aren’t asleep.
b) Depends on the show – if you’re comfortable with the concept, you may let loose.
c) You’re always very ooh-ahh-haha vocal.
9. Do you ever initiate art/theatre?
a) Once in a while, but the majority of the time someone else pounces first
b) So often, your nickname is Ham
c) Nah – you always wait for some show to fall on you and then you take action